A Very Strange Dream

     I never remember my dreams.  But one night around 2010 I had such a vivd and terrifying dream, I never forgot it.  And, in one sense, it came true.

    It's a beautiful day.  Crystal clear.  The sky is a wonderful shade of blue without a cloud in sight.

    I'm alone, driving a car that's very comfortable but not familiar, and I'm on a lovely highway. I feel perfectly content. There's no one else on this highway at all, and there's no scenery because this lovely expanse of road has concrete on both sides that obscure my vision left and right, plus I'm sure it's elevated.

    Off in the somewhat far distance I see a city sparkling in the sun.  It's reminiscent of the Emerald City Dorothy sees in the Wizard of Oz.  I'm thrilled to be heading there.

    Suddenly and too soon for me to take any action, the road just ends and I'm plunging over the edge to my death.  

    And then I wake up.

    It's morning and I'm terrified.  What was that all about?  Why am I dreaming about my death?  I told friends and colleagues at work who were sympathetic, but after all, dreams are strange, right?

    This dream plagued me for days.  I do think that dreams are a way we work out things that happen in our everyday lives, but I couldn't think of anything related to this until I remembered ...

    About two days before the dream I'd received notification from the Social Security Administration about my retirement that was 4 or 5 years away.  It was one of those government mailings where you have to tear off the sides and the top and it had a lot of that "fine print" governmentese, that requires careful reading. I'd read what it said, but didn't realize that my brain was working out what this meant for me and how I would respond.

    When I connected this to the dream it all fell into place.  That beautiful city? That's how I felt about retirement.  And the road there?  That's where I was - happily enjoying a career I loved.  The road ending?  Of course it would.  My death could be my fear of the unknown.  How would I handle the transition to who I would be if I didn't define myself by my work?

    Once I realized this, I smiled to myself.  I didn't forget the dream, far from it, I can still see it all clearly.  But now I live in that beautiful city of retirement and it is even more beautiful than I imagined.  

    While I do think longingly and so fondly of the career I had, when I look at the life I've been able to create for myself it's amazing.  I have old friends and new.  I have communities in both my northern and southern homes.  I get to do things I've looked forward to and have chosen to do things I would never have guessed would make me so content. As for dreams, I haven't remembered any since then.